Tuesday, October 4, 2011

~ Fan(g)tastic ~ By: el Presidente

It's odd, but there is no rationale when it comes to things we really, really like or are passionate about. I have always been in love with rodents. I like things with fur on them. I am extremely fond of scissors. I can't pass up a good children's book. And I've always wanted a set of fangs.

It so happens that a very good friend of mine works in the lab for a denturist. My friend told me that she had a pair of fangs custom made for her a long time ago and that a few people (including a 'lady of the night') had since showed interest in getting 'vampire teeth'. Which also lead to an interesting discussion on 'entertainment names' where you use the name of your first pet as your first name and the first street you lived on as your last name (...hello Bootsie Cherrywood!) and 'voila'; there you have it. But I digress.

I went in to talk about a possible set of fangs and the next thing I knew I was gamely sitting in the denturist's chair getting impressions made, complete with a mouthful of goop. It was as simple as that. Two days later, I went in for my final fitting and I now have a set of fangs that I carry around in my purse in a pill bottle, ready to pop in my mouth on the slightest whim. They are coloured to match my teeth and are quite comfortable to wear.

I do have a slight lisp when I am wearing them. I am trying to teach myself to enunciate properly. I practice in the car. They are quite sharp and my husband keeps cautioning me that I might end up putting a fang through my lip or cheek.

I know we are in the 'Hallowe'en month', but... just like my skull ring and my rat skull necklace and my skeleton pendant, et al... I don't look at the calendar in order to wear and therefore get enjoyment from the stuff that I like. And I don't really think of them as vampire teeth, either. To me they are fangs. For any occassion.


  1. So ... have you tried biting into something yet?
    Just to try them out ... I dunno an apple or cucumber or a neck?

  2. Oh, wouldn't I love to! I have been cautioned that they are not for eating. Or biting necks. Would that they were...